WARNING - MY LAST EVER (hopefully) BIT OF SELF DEPRECATION IS IN THIS BLOG. Could get annoying. But I hope you like it.
I don't know whether what I'm about to write applies to lots of people, I reckon it probably does, but it's been a bit of an issue for me for the last 4 or so years. I guess this is because I've become more self conscious as I've got older.
I find it pretty hard to have a conversation with anyone I don't talk to everyday. I say something stupid, then worry about it so I'm not concentrating on what I'm saying afterwards. This is quite annoying. I wish I were better at social stuff in general. It's as though everyone else has been taught how to interact with other people in general life but I missed out on that lesson. I just don't get it. I don't have a clue what to say in a lot of normal situations so I've got paranoid that people don't understand what I'm trying to say and I get in a flap. Awkward.
It is similar but slightly different on twitter. Everyone else is really witty but I'm not so I usually sound ridiculously serious about trivial things. This isn't always the case but I'm noticing it more and more. I wish I could do something about it but I genuinely don't know what to say in some conversations, whereas other people seem to be able to fire off witty replies. If you have been slightly bewildered by something I've said to you in a twitter conversation, I am truly sorry, I sometimes just don't know how to answer so I come up with some rubbish. I suppose I just don't want to upset anyone so I go for the safe option. Boring.
I'm alright with my main tweets though. They can be thought out and structured whereas conversations are harder to do on the spot because it's a 2 way thing. I probably think about these things too much. Maybe I should stop picking apart all my tweets and just type whatever I think of first. Right, I'm glad I got that off my chest. I really cannot thank the people on twitter enough for being so amazing, even if I sometimes say the wrong thing. If you haven't noticed and don't have a clue what I'm talking about, I should probably stop worrying. I love you all so much and it really makes my day when I get friendly tweets. You're all SO supportive.
THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU etc etc.
THE SELF DEPRECATION ENDS HERE. xxx